Talking about my insecurities

Hello everyone! Today I wanted to shed some light on things not everyone likes to talk about. We are all insecure about something. Even the hottest supermodels out there have them. I wanted to share some of mine and how I try to really embrace them. I also wanted to point out that I feel like we don’t even have insecurities about ourselves until someone points it out to us and then we get self conscious about it. No one can make you feel insecure about yourself, unless you let them.  Let’s get started.

1. My teeth. I don’t want to say that my teeth were THE WORST, but they were crooked. I inserted some pics below. I really didn’t see a big issue with them UNTIL I had an ex boyfriend point them out to me. I remember him telling me numerous times that I needed braces. At the time, I felt super offended. But In the long run, I somewhat appreciated him telling me. (I know, weird.) I didn’t see how crooked my teeth were until I really looked at them! I was BEGGING my parents to get me braces so I can could feel better about myself. My parents, being the loving people they are, kept telling me how I have such straight teeth and that I didn’t need them. Holding my ground still, I FINALLY got them my senior year in high school. I remember hating them! I looked sooooo bad with them on and I probably looked so young too! (Baby face probs) I thought once I got my braces off, I’d look like the baddest bitch out there! Nope. lol. I have a super small mouth, that comes with small teeth! I actually only have 3 bottom front teeth, which is a bit hard to explain. So, I’m still somewhat insecure, yet just totally over it at this point. I’ve learned to like my teeth at certain angles. The only problem with this one is that you can’t shape your teeth into something else. Like how we can shape our body. So, I’m just going to have to deal with this one until I can afford to get some fake ones. Lol. (Here are some CRINGY PHOTOS OF ME. EWWW.) lol. These are from 2015-2016 to 2019.

BEFORE BRACES:

DURING BRACES:

AFTER BRACES:

2. My stomach fat. I feel like this is what girls are insecure about the most (and some guys). I could workout everyday and eat super healthy until I got a 6 pack, but I LOVE food sooooo much. It’s hard for me to be on a “diet.” I write diet in quotation marks because being on a diet shouldn’t be something you do for 6 weeks only. It’s a lifestyle change. It’s something you need to do EVERYDAY to maintain the kind of body you want! I’m still trying to learn what works with me the most because we all have different bodies types. Also because I freaking love deep fried food. Lol. I’m not going to blame social media for this, but I do have a feeling that since it’s SO BIG now to be a model or to follow those fitness people, we tend to blame ourselves for not looking like the girls online. Just remember, you can ALWAYS transform your body if you’re ready to make that change! You can do literally do what the girls do online. I have to remind myself everyday that Instagram is just a highlight reel and that we can transform our bodies into what we want if we put in the work!

3. My double chin. I feel like this one is so silly and I’ve learned to just forget about it, but it’ll always be there. I haven’t really noticed my double chin until a couple of years ago. I was about 19 years old and that’s when I started to really gain weight. Going to parties, eating whatever I wanted, etc… I literally gained like 20 pounds. That’s the same time I started to take pictures more and more. If you follow me on Instagram, you can probably tell that I don’t really smile too often in photos and I really like the left side of my face. That’s because my jawline looks the best on that side. I have a very soft jawline. Which is fine, but it still makes me insecure. It wasn’t until I went back to look at old photos of me that I realized I’ve always had a line under my chin, creating a double chin. I really just stopped caring for it and learned to embrace that it’ll always be with me. Here are some photos of me in middle school to now!

4. Let’s talk about brains. Not actual brains. I’m talking about being in school. I was NEVER the smart kid in school. I’m actually surprised that I even graduated high school if I’m being honest. Throughout my time in school, I NEVER did well. It’s not like I skipped school that often (only my senior year because, why not??) or like I failed a lot of classes. (I only failed in algebra 2 my junior year, lol.) But I was never really connected in school. I remember being in middle school, looking at my friends class schedule only to find out we had no classes together and they were put into the regular classes and I was put into those double block classes because I had a hard time learning. My brain was always somewhere else and I had a hard time comprehending what was going on in class. I excelled in things like music, gym, and art. The only class I did really well in was Psychology! I remember taking test and getting only 1 or 2 questions wrong. Which was really surprising to me. Lol I should’ve told my teachers or parents about it, but I was SO embarrassed to talk about it. I’m still pretty embarrassed to talk about it now. I did not go to college and I don’t plan on going at all. Not being book smart definitely has its downsides, like not knowing what some words mean when I should or not knowing some history thing or not knowing where and when to put comas or something.  It’s a little hard for me to explain if you don’t go through it yourself. I don’t know I have some other kind of concentration problem, but I’ve learned that I am a very hands on learner. I have to really teach myself how to do things because I don’t care to pay attention. This is definitely something I’m still trying to work on because I know just because I’m not book smart doesn’t mean I’m not smart at all. I just excel in things that are not academic. If you are still in school and you’re struggling, please know that you’re not the only one and please tell someone so you can learn in the way that helps you the most!

I graduated in 2015.

5. My acne. I’ve talked about this before, so I’ll link my video. Just to give you a little backstory, I don’t want to say that I had THE WORST acne ever because I didn’t. I was still VERY insecure about mine though! I mainly had acne on my forehead, nose, and chin. I really struggled with acne my junior- senior year. I joined dance my senior year, so obviously when you’re performing, you want to look your best. I remember feeling sooooo insecure because we had freshmen on our team who had both straight teeth and clear skin! Being only 1 of the 2 seniors on team, I felt so. ugly. I literally have tried sooooooooo many different things and products to get rid of my acne! Some things worked, but not that much. It didn’t help either that my family would point it out. So, y’all are shitty. Like I KNOW I HAVE ZITS, you don’t need to point it out. I went to a dermatologist to help with my acne and it definitely helped sooo much! I started birth control when I was 19, which also helped even more! So, my advice for people who do have bad acne, is to really just go get professional help. They know what to do and what they’re talking about. Don’t waste your money on drug store products because not all of them are right for your skin!

Dance pic:

I’m cringing so hard right now (2015):

I honestly could go on and on, but these are just a few of my main insecurities. I just hope you know we all have insecurities and its great to talk about them to other people and see if we can help each other out! Let me know what you think down below!

– Emily ❤

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